It amazes me how someone can be perfectly happy and content at one moment, and then feel lower than dirt the next. There’s usually some “thing” that comes along and causes this reaction, and in my experiences it can be anything from a routine task to something you never expected. Lately, for me it’s been when I look at or think about my budget. It doesn’t matter if I do it or not, when I realize just how little money I have left over, and see how my debts look like they’ll never go away, it’s like everything I was excited about just vanishes. All my dreams are replaced with “I can’t afford it.” All my necessities are taken care of, and I know that’s really what’s most important, but it still bothers me.
Then I start thinking about how next year I will actually be bringing home less than this year (especially if Obama and his liberal Congress get elected). That just makes me feel even more hopeless. I’ve even been going through Financial Peace University, and trying my hardest to put the stuff I learn into my everyday life, but it never quite feels like it’s working. It’s like I’m just floating along, not really going downstream, but just sort of floating in the same place, while my feet turn into prunes.
I’ve even taken on of Dave’s biggest ideas, selling stuff, and tried and tried to get extra money just to get my starter emergency fund, and that doesn’t even seem to work for me. I could have the fund right now if I could just sell my trombone, but no matter how hard I’ve tried with that, it seems like it’s just never going to happen. I’m low right now, lower than dirt is what it feels like, and I want to dig myself out, but it looks so hopeless at times.